Self-Interviews

When and where do you work best?

Los Angeles, Apr 24 2012: In the city at night. In crowded cafes with a continuos soundscape. Outdoors in the blazing sun. Strangely enough, if it's hot and dry I apparently have the potential to shine. Generally, more privately in public. I prefer not to generate too much buzz.

Which matters are substantial to you and your work right now?

Los Angeles, Apr 24 2012: Right now, I try to get much more focused, self-aware, and self-honest. I feel very vulnerable at the moment. But overall, it's a lot about elementary things and different details in life which I just can't help to ignore and which therefore urge me to deal with.

Places, patterns of everyday life, contrasts, people, intimacy, and fashion. Aesthetically, I have an affection for patterns. Which in particular? Favorite places: the desert and the ocean. People in particular: women. Contrasts: civilization and nature. Favorite patterns: stripes, dots, and organic shapes. Fashion: Haute Couture.
Visually, I'm also very excited about liquids, smog, fog, rain, and snow, although I'm actually addicted to the sun.

My whole life I've been a very good observer but more like a bystander. Now I suddenly seem to occupy center stage myself. Thus, more and more of the works are getting autobiographical, too. Analyzing myself. Coming to terms with the past and present and such. Some of these elements you might barely see in my works right now, but I guess you will be able to find many of these in works to come. More in seriousness, melancholy, and poetry than serenity. But eventually with a dry sense of humor, in the form of absurdity, irony, or sarcasm as my kind of critique.

In the process of making I'm always at peace. But as soon as a work is finished I currently feel it's already obsolete, not enough me anymore - this very me of the moment - and it might fail to withstand my emotions and standards already. Most of the times, the way is the goal, but apparently I'm running too fast to keep up. I think about this a lot.

What are your favorite art tools?

Los Angeles, Apr 24 2012: My camera, black edding 1200 pens, dried out permanent markers, a paint brush, light, and my laptop although we are in a constant love/hate relationship, because we just spend too much time together ...

What makes you happy?

Los Angeles, Apr 23 2012: Some exotic fruits have the aptitude to cheer me up almost always. It seems to work with a slice of watermelon as is the case with bright yellow bananas. Don't try it with a green one.
Holding a burrito with both of my hands has a very high success rate, too.
Love, the work, and travel can of course let me feel contented in a totally different and very deep way, but it's a whole other beast. It issues challenges all the time.
As with everything in life - whatever makes you happy, on some days it can hurt you even more.

What do colors mean to you?

Los Angeles, Apr 23 2012: In general I'm not too attracted by colors. I like colors, I really do, but I'm not too fond of using color as expression in my own works.
My favorite color has always been blue but where does it come from? Well, it started as a child as I was asked for my favorite color for the first time. I didn't want to appear goofy and came up with blue promptly. In that moment I just thought I can't go wrong with this color, since it is not too feminine at last. I stuck with it, maybe I'm going to stick with it for the rest of my life. Fortunately, there are at least great tones of blue out there. But if you think of gray as a color, I would forget about blue anytime.
It just reminds me how often and easily we are sticking with something without question.

Thus, today what I'm ultimately in love with is gray.
Sometimes I'm just struck by colors in a way that they blind me like sirens. Therefore, too often I still find myself using them a lot in my works. I really think I should begin to use colors in more subtle ways and let them fade. But because I'm falling in love with all these colors again and again, I have the feeling that I will have very hard times to break away from them completely. Maybe reception in color, reflection in gray.
Black, all shades of gray, desaturated colors, white, or only one other color at a time.
But furthermore I understand gray in the sense of gray areas. Some works wouldn't exist if permits had to be granted beforehand. Immediacy does not leave much room for waiting and asking as well. It's sometimes a hovering between unclearly defined areas. Some gray areas are widely accepted, others signifies a problem of sorting reality into clearly cut categories.

Overall, also many reasons for the atelier's name LA K50. The color code K50 in the CMYK color model represents middle gray.

What keeps you up at night?

Los Angeles, Dec 20 2011: The last several years have brought so much change to so many aspects of my life that I have a hard time to keep up with transforming all these emotions and perceptions into works. I've found myself in many overwhelming situations and contrary to lots of other artists I'm mostly not able to express myself as long as I'm right in the middle of such a condition. And still - the less I'm able to tell, the more I feel the urge to. There are too many feelings to express, so many ups and downs to work up, so many experiences and influences to incorporate. Some works of the past don't live up to my current expectations. They don't represent my today's style, handwriting, and what occupies my mind most. Quality for me reached a totally new level. I run over. With the need and desire to put everything in place and to be as productive as possible. My aesthetics shifted over the years. Cleaner, stronger, desaturated pictures are in my head influenced by emotions, patterns, fashion, places, and daily routines. Sentimental works are in my head. I'm struggling most with turning all these sad and happy moments into something. It hurts. I freeze in place. And nothing I might be able to create seems to convey these emotions - not in the least. I would like to open my head and the flesh should let you see where I am, how I changed, what I see, how I feel. Things give me pain when I'm failing to share. It seems I have a lot of catching-up to do as my development progresses more quickly and along the way I'm getting thin-skinned like crazy.

How can a project change the way you think?

Berlin, May 27 2007: Let's take the the SOUND NOMADS project for example. Travelling for six months through the Western United States, thereof working three months in a row with my assistant/project partner in places where your physical strains let push you beyond your limits every day. That let me think so much about me and let me feel things I've never felt before. Daily long hour drives through deserts and wilderness; lonesome scenic mountain and coast drives; jam-packed highways in the cities - car drives where used for discussing and elaborating concepts for upcoming performances as same as for watching out for possible SN playgrounds or sound huntings. But still there was time for letting me think about everything and nothing.
Especially during hours of driving in the heat of the day, when my project partner tried to find some sleep in the seat next to me.

By all means, that intense time of nomadism, working exclusively on that specific project, f.i. turned out to be one of my most important steps I've ever made. The concept of SOUND NOMADS IS to deal with those impressions every day, with emotions from travelling through breathtaking landscapes, foreign cities, different cultures. Working with the surroundings, creating technically complex sceneries and interactive playgrounds, reflect and express emotions of the very moment; spontaneously, unobtrusively or provocatively, poetically. This project became quickly so much me that I sometimes catched myself being scared of giving all this up and returning to Berlin/Europe again. It was not just the project. It was the working method, the life style, the adventure, the mobility, the liberty, the opportunity for artistic expressions in various forms (sound/performance/video) wherever and whenever you consider necessary, turning every single thought into something. But surely, several reasons kept me from going on with the U.S. tour. Both of us were looking forward to living our own lifes again, i had to find time again for commissioned works, too, and the list goes on. But it became pretty much clear that this project at least has to go on.

Thus, a project can mean and change a lot.

What exactly is it that pushes you forward?

Berlin, May 27 2007: To this day, many people simply can't understand where my energy and enthusiasm comes from and how I'm able to do things with so much effort nearly 24/7 and still having the desire to work on - while driving the car, building up sensor equipped playgrounds in the desert's mid-day sun, or after setting up the tent in the dead of night. Perhaps it's the attempt to constantly find new viewing angles, to think far outside the box, to dive into layers of abstraction where the obviousness and importance of things follow their own rules and let you reveal something new. The urge on expressing all those emotions and sharing my experiences that pushes me forward.
Surely, I'm also driven by my own perfectionism but this in turn is based on my effort to express myself in a most complete and appropriate way to create works, which resemble my original pictures in my head as far as possible.

Does your perfectionism make things complex?

Berlin, May 27 2007: Since, these pictures in my mind are getting complex quickly, projects tend to do so, too. Even though, I'm an expert in simplicity and clarity when it comes to projects in the creative industry and I'm aware of the power of simplicity in art, at the same time I'm thinking it's only natural, that working with patterns of everyday life (and life IS complicated) may result in something complex again.

Why are you active in so many different fields of art?

Berlin, May 27 2007: Behind the fact, that projects like SOUND NOMADS incorporate so many different art forms, mediums, and extensive technology usage, there is my constant ambition to work with the widest possible spectrum of disciplines, mediums, techniques, and technologies. I think, this has much to do with my inner need to do things differently. I always hated to go the same way again and again, saying something using the exact same words repeatedly. In school f.i. I rather risked bad results by trying something new than solving mathematical problems the same familiar way over and over again. I guess, it's also challenges I'm chasing after. I never take the easy way and: I need variety. Working interdisciplinary helps, not doing something only because you are supposed to do, too. To stay unique. Not copying others' ideas is restricting you with every creative work you get to know more and more, and not only once I've even dumped great ideas because I just had to learn that similar works already existed or somebody was planning a similar project at the same time. But for me it's also a must to behave with respect and use other's ideas and forms of expression just as an other source of inspiration.

Are you afraid of sharing ideas and experiences openly?

Berlin, May 27 2007: As long as the idea is not the only important thing about a project or work, I'm not afraid of dealing openly with my own concepts, thoughts, and knowledge. Since, an artist or creative is not only acting as f.i. an inventor, visionary, or engineer but furthermore put her whole person and talent into the realization, the whole work will distinguish from others anyway - with its strengths and weaknesses. Sure enough, this doesn't apply as soon as the whole importance to a work is solely attached to its statement or idea or if you don't have enough confidence in your own capabilities doing it better, more passionated, more personal, with unique esthetics, or just different than others, anyway. From an artistic standpoint, sometimes, it's the idea that really counts, but most of the time the 'when' and 'how' is much more important. In any case, I think the most important factor in creative work which often decides over success can be you - your own personal touch, your one-of-a-kind working method, your esthetic, your way of doing things and bringing them to an end. Sometimes it's all about you, sometimes it's all about ideas and timing, sometimes it's all about esthetics and how everything is put together or the choice of the right medium.

Thus, mostly, sharing ideas, concepts and visions can't hurt, furthermore acting and thinking this way can pay off. For me dealing openly with experiences and knowledge especially on the web became common practice over the years. Open discussions and feedback can bring you and enthusiastic ideas/projects huge steps forward into the right directions, people sharing ideas learn from each other, earning respect for your support can encourage you. On the whole, I guess, I'm doing it right with my open research and working methods and I'll definitely take this to the next level.
But why f.i. train somebody in technology and art for two years free of charge when that person doesn't plan to work in these fields of work, anyway, just to be able to work with him on a single high-tech art project? I don't know, but at least this is exactly what happened for the SOUND NOMADS project. Before I had trained my project partner, he knew nothing whatsoever about working with sound, video, sensors, and expressing himself artistically. Suddenly he not only found himself programming complex software patches and making laptop music - he became part of the process and in a sense essential for the whole project. Perhaps this is, again, connected to the idea of sharing my skills, spreading my knowledge and working methods. It's also an opportunity for a more intimate team play having somebody on your side who has access to the same technics, workflows, and mindsets but still maintains the advantage of thinking differently because of his background. Is it the chase after interdisciplinary, challenge and complexity, again?